Do Men and Women Grieve Differently?

Dealing with the Grieving in General and by Gender

One of the first things I came aware of as a Hospital Chaplain was that men and women grieve differently. Often we assume that every human being should respond the same way to grief. In the Christian community dealing with grief is especially difficult because of preconceived notions and dogma. We often teach people that grief is temporary and individuals should “get over it”. I have witnessed grief up close and personal since 1987 when I started volunteering as a hospital chaplain. Since 2005 I have been a professional chaplain at one of America’s busiest Trauma Centers and at a large state Psychiatric Hospital. I have sat with women that lost twins, Grandparents that lost grandchildren in fires, and victims of drive-by shootings families. Each situation was totally different. In most cases I can honestly say that men deal with grief very differently than woman. Women tend to be more demonstrative and vocal while men usually sit quietly and internalize their pain. The other factor that makes grief differ is culture. I don’t want to sound stereotypical or racist in my assessments, but people are different. I in no way declare one group or culture is superior to another, but some culture are more demonstrative than other in the realm of grief, while some are more introspective. I am writing this to help a new chaplain or Pastoral Care volunteer better assess the situation he or she may be called to respond to.
I titled this book “Observing Grief” because in many cases the best things one can do is simply observe and be present when someone is grieving. People in grief do NOT need a sermon or a lecture. Just concentrate on listening to the words that are being shared with you. Resist the urge to preach and educate the grieving person. Women will generally vent verbally more than men, allow her to vent! Even if she is screaming and wailing…LET HER! Yes it may make YOU uncomfortable, but YOU are there to COMFORT HER! I have sat with grieving people and said very little, sometimes I simply hold their hand or give them a hug and simple prayer. Our presence means so much because times of grief are lonely times. When a person has lost a love one it is like losing a part of themselves. A woman loses her husband to cancer, but if he was the sole breadwinner she is also looking at possibly losing more. A man on disability loses his wife; he not only lost a wife but a caretaker. No two cases are the same and no two people handle grief the same way. Some people will seem to bounce back from a death swiftly while some carry their grief to their grave. The truth be told grief is never easy as we think it is. Even Jesus grieved over the death of His cousin John the Baptist.
Friends, relatives, and neighbors are usually supportive at the time of a death and during the wake and funeral that follows. Food, flowers, and physical presence are among the thoughtful expressions. But after the funeral, many grieving people wonder where their friends are. In some ways they need support and caring from their friends even more when the reality hits and the long process of grief begins. Ways of helping grieving people are as limitless as your imagination. Some suggestions are:
• Try to understand the grief process rather than be annoyed by it.
• "I'm sorry" or "I care" is all that is necessary to say; a squeeze of the hand, a hug, a kiss can say the words.
• Don't say: "You will get over it in time." They will never stop missing the person who died. Time may soften the hurt, but it will not just go away. There will always be a scar.
• Listen, listen, listen. Talking about the pain slowly lessens its sting. Most bereaved persons need to talk. It is helpful for someone to listen. Try to become an effective listener.
• Don't tell people: "It's God's will." Explanations do not console.
• Encourage expressions of specific feelings: anger, guilt, frustration, confusion, depression, hate.
• Be patient. Mourning takes time. People need you. Stand by them for as long as possible. There is no timetable for grief. Do not give a pep talk or suggest a timetable.
• Talk about the good memories. They help the healing process.
• Suggest that grieving people take part in support groups. Sharing similar experiences helps healing.
• Be there caring, saying "I'm sorry" and helping in practical ways.
• Sincerely ask, "How are you doing?" Bereaved persons can tell if you want to hear "fine" or if you really want to know.
• Help bereaved to eliminate expectations as to how they should feel and when they will be healed.
• Be approachable, aware, and interested.
• Be accepting of the person, of his/her feelings, his/her confusion.
• Acts of thoughtfulness-a note, visit, plant, helpful book, plate of cookies, phone call, invitation to lunch or to go shopping, coffee.
• Be confidential with what is shared with you.

How Do I Help Someone That is Mentally Ill?

The magnitude of mental illness and emotional trauma in this country is staggering. According to the Surgeon General, one in every five Americans experiences a mental disorder in any given year and half of all Americans have such disorders at some time in their lives. These illnesses of the brain affect all of us, regardless of age, gender, economic status or ethnicity. Nearly every person sitting in the pews has been touched in some way by mental illness. And yet individuals and families continue to suffer in silence or stop coming to their faith community because they are not receiving the support they so desperately need. They become detached from their faith community and their spirituality, which is an important source of healing, wholeness and hope in times of personal darkness. THERE IS HOPE! As pastoral care givers we CAN make a difference if we remember a few things…
1. You can’t solve anyone’s problems, but you can listen and be present in the midst of their crisis.
2. Don’t preach! Don’t Judge! Don’t Attack! Remember Job’s friends? Do the opposite things they did to Job.
3. Prayer does work! Pray according to the needs of the person.
4. Help people come to the right conclusion on their own.
5. Sometimes all a person needs is your presence.

What Does The Bible Say About Food?

Healing Foods of the Bible
The Scripture and your diet



Apples

Song of Solomon 2:5
Strengthen me with raisins, refresh me with apples, for I am faint with love.

Barley

Deuteronomy 8:7-9
For the LORD your God is bringing you into a good land--a land with streams and pools of water, with springs flowing in the valleys and hills; 8) a land with wheat and barley, vines and fig trees, pomegranates, olive oil and honey; 9) a land where bread will not be scarce and you will lack nothing; a land where the rocks are iron and you can dig copper out of the hills.

Beans

Ezekiel 4:9
"Take wheat and barley, beans and lentils, millet and spelt; put them in a storage jar and use them to make bread for yourself. You are to eat it during the 390 days you lie on your side."

2 Samuel 17:28-29
brought bedding and bowls and articles of pottery. They also brought wheat and barley, flour and roasted grain, beans and lentils, 29) honey and curds, sheep, and cheese from cows' milk for David and his people to eat. For they said, "The people have become hungry and tired and thirsty in the desert."

Bread

Ezekiel 4:9
"Take wheat and barley, beans and lentils, millet and spelt; put them in a storage jar and use them to make bread for yourself. You are to eat it during the 390 days you lie on your side.

Dairy

Isaiah 7:15, 22
He will eat curds and honey when he knows enough to reject the wrong and choose the right. 22) And because of the abundance of the milk they give, he will have curds to eat. All who remain in the land will eat curds and honey.

Proverbs 27:27
You will have plenty of goats' milk to feed you and your family and to nourish your servant girls.

Figs

1 Samuel 30:11-12
They found an Egyptian in a field and brought him to David. They gave him water to drink and food to eat-- 12) part of a cake of pressed figs and two cakes of raisins. He ate and was revived, for he had not eaten any food or drunk any water for three days and three nights.

Fish

Leviticus 11:9-12
"`Of all the creatures living in the water of the seas and the streams, you may eat any that have fins and scales. 10) But all creatures in the seas or streams that do not have fins and scales--whether among all the swarming things or among all the other living creatures in the water--you are to detest. 11) And since you are to detest them, you must not eat their meat and you must detest their carcasses. 12) Anything living in the water that does not have fins and scales is to be detestable to you.

Deuteronomy 14:9
Of all the creatures living in the water, you may eat any that has fins and scales.

Luke 24:42-43
They gave him a piece of broiled fish, 43) and he took it and ate it in their presence.

Fruit

Ezekiel 47:12
Fruit trees of all kinds will grow on both banks of the river. Their leaves will not wither, nor will their fruit fail. Every month they will bear, because the water from the sanctuary flows to them. Their fruit will serve for food and their leaves for healing."

Deuteronomy 8:7
For the LORD your God is bringing you into a good land--a land with streams and pools of water, with springs flowing in the valleys and hills; 8) a land with wheat and barley, vines and fig trees, pomegranates, olive oil and honey; 9) a land where bread will not be scarce and you will lack nothing; a land where the rocks are iron and you can dig copper out of the hills.

Song of Solomon 2:5
Strengthen me with raisins, refresh me with apples, for I am faint with love.

Garlic

Numbers 11:5
We remember the fish we ate in Egypt at no cost--also the cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions and garlic.

Grains

Ezekiel 4:9
"Take wheat and barley, beans and lentils, millet and spelt; put them in a storage jar and use them to make bread for yourself. You are to eat it during the 390 days you lie on your side.

Grapes

Numbers 13:23
When they reached the Valley of Eshcol,[1] they cut off a branch bearing a single cluster of grapes. Two of them carried it on a pole between them, along with some pomegranates and figs.

Genesis 9:20
Noah, a man of the soil, proceeded to plant a vineyard.

1 Timothy 5:23
Stop drinking only water, and use a little wine because of your stomach and your frequent illnesses.

1 Kings 21:2
Ahab said to Naboth, "Let me have your vineyard to use for a vegetable garden, since it is close to my palace. In exchange I will give you a better vineyard or, if you prefer, I will pay you whatever it is worth."

Herbs

Numbers 11:7 -9
The manna was like coriander seed and looked like resin. 8) The people went around gathering it, and then ground it in a handmill or crushed it in a mortar. They cooked it in a pot or made it into cakes. And it tasted like something made with olive oil. 9) When the dew settled on the camp at night, the manna also came down.

Psalm 51:7
Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.

John 19:29-30
A jar of wine vinegar was there, so they soaked a sponge in it, put the sponge on a stalk of the hyssop plant, and lifted it to Jesus' lips. 30) When he had received the drink, Jesus said, "It is finished." With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.

Honey

1 Samuel 14:27
But Jonathan had not heard that his father had bound the people with the oath, so he reached out the end of the staff that was in his hand and dipped it into the honeycomb. He raised his hand to his mouth, and his eyes brightened.

2 Samuel 17:29
honey and curds, sheep, and cheese from cows' milk for David and his people to eat. For they said, "The people have become hungry and tired and thirsty in the desert."

Genesis 43:11
Then their father Israel said to them, "If it must be, then do this: Put some of the best products of the land in your bags and take them down to the man as a gift--a little balm and a little honey, some spices and myrrh, some pistachio nuts and almonds.

Meat

Genesis 9:3
Everything that lives and moves will be food for you. Just as I gave you the green plants, I now give you everything.

Leviticus 72:227
The LORD said to Moses, 23) "Say to the Israelites: `Do not eat any of the fat of cattle, sheep or goats. 24) The fat of an animal found dead or torn by wild animals may be used for any other purpose, but you must not eat it. 25) Anyone who eats the fat of an animal from which an offering by fire may be[1] made to the LORD must be cut off from his people. 26) And wherever you live, you must not eat the blood of any bird or animal. 27) If anyone eats blood, that person must be cut off from his people.'"

Leviticus 317
"`This is a lasting ordinance for the generations to come, wherever you live: You must not eat any fat or any blood.'"

Melon

Numbers 11:5
We remember the fish we ate in Egypt at no cost--also the cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions and garlic.

Isaiah 1:8
The Daughter of Zion is left like a shelter in a vineyard, like a hut in a field of melons, like a city under siege.

Milk

Exodus 3:8
So I have come down to rescue them from the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them up out of that land into a good and spacious land, a land flowing with milk and honey--the home of the Canaanites, Hittites, Amorites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites.

Isaiah 7:22
And because of the abundance of the milk they give, he will have curds to eat. All who remain in the land will eat curds and honey.

2 Samuel 17:29
honey and curds, sheep, and cheese from cows' milk for David and his people to eat. For they said, "The people have become hungry and tired and thirsty in the desert."

Nuts

Genesis 43:11
Then their father Israel said to them, "If it must be, then do this: Put some of the best products of the land in your bags and take them down to the man as a gift--a little balm and a little honey, some spices and myrrh, some pistachio nuts and almonds.

Olives

James 5:14
Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord.

2 Kings 18:32
until I come and take you to a land like your own, a land of grain and new wine, a land of bread and vineyards, a land of olive trees and honey. Choose life and not death! "Do not listen to Hezekiah, for he is misleading you when he says, `The LORD will deliver us.'

Onions

Numbers 11:5
We remember the fish we ate in Egypt at no cost--also the cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions and garlic.

Pomegranates

Deuteronomy 8:8
a land with wheat and barley, vines and fig trees, pomegranates, olive oil and honey;

Spices

Matthew 23:23
"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices--mint, dill and cummin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law--justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former.

Luke 11:42
"Woe to you Pharisees, because you give God a tenth of your mint, rue and all other kinds of garden herbs, but you neglect justice and the love of God. You should have practiced the latter without leaving the former undone.

Vegetables

Daniel 1:12-17
"Please test your servants for ten days: Give us nothing but vegetables to eat and water to drink. 13) Then compare our appearance with that of the young men who eat the royal food, and treat your servants in accordance with what you see." 14 ) So he agreed to this and tested them for ten days. 15) At the end of the ten days they looked healthier and better nourished than any of the young men who ate the royal food. 16) So the guard took away their choice food and the wine they were to drink and gave them vegetables instead. 17) To these four young men God gave knowledge and understanding of all kinds of literature and learning. And Daniel could understand visions and dreams of all kinds.

Numbers 11:5
We remember the fish we ate in Egypt at no cost--also the cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions and garlic.

Ezekiel 4:9
"Take wheat and barley, beans and lentils, millet and spelt; put them in a storage jar and use them to make bread for yourself. You are to eat it during the 390 days you lie on your side.

Genesis 1:11
Then God said, "Let the land produce vegetation: seed-bearing plants and trees on the land that bear fruit with seed in it, according to their various kinds." And it was so.

Genesis 1:29
Then God said, "I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food.

Wheat

Jeremiah 41:8
But ten of them said to Ishmael, "Don't kill us! We have wheat and barley, oil and honey, hidden in a field." So he let them alone and did not kill them with the others.

Ezekiel 4:9
"Take wheat and barley, beans and lentils, millet and spelt; put them in a storage jar and use them to make bread for yourself. You are to eat it during the 390 days you lie on your side.

Yogurt (curds)

2 Samuel 17:28-29
brought bedding and bowls and articles of pottery. They also brought wheat and barley, flour and roasted grain, beans and lentils, 29) honey and curds, sheep, and cheese from cows' milk for David and his people to eat. For they said, "The people have become hungry and tired and thirsty in the desert."

If You are Suffering From Sickness, READ THIS!

If you are a Christian and you are suffering with an illness of some kind be encouraged. God has not forsaken you. I know it may feel like it but He hasn’t. I have received great comfort from Psalm 13, a Psalm of David. This Psalm has taught me that one of the major problems with suffering is dealing with anger and bitter feelings towards God Himself. We have been taught the new wave message of “positive confession”, but what God really desires from us is an honest confession. Out of all the books in the Bible, the one that has delivered me the most is the Psalms. To many believers Psalms is just a collection of praise song. Many theologians look at Psalms, Proverbs, and especially Ecclesiastes as books without much doctrinal weight or value. How wrong they are! Through all of my trials and tribulations, I have been able to find a point of contact and understanding by reading Psalms. My favorite Psalm is Psalm 13.

After you read it you may wonder, “How can this depressing psalm be someone’s favorite?” This is the most honest prayer in the scriptures. David asked God a question, “How long will you forget me Lord?” This honesty in prayer helped me realize that God wants to hear everything we have to say, the good and the bad. David felt abandoned by God. I can identify with this feeling. For the last three years I have been battling sickness. I have been poked, prodded, and examined. I have had Scarlet Fever. I have been misdiagnosed with Osteomylitis (bone infection). I was on an IV for 8 weeks; my lungs were scanned and X-rayed to find growths. I have granulomas (lesions) in different parts of my body that causes severe pain in my joints and my eyes, and the cause of all of this is an incurable illness called Sarcoidosis. I began to recite Psalm 13 as though I wrote it. The good news is found in the 5th and 6th verses. David obviously recalled how the Lord had been merciful and kind to him in the past. David’s was to continue to trust in the mercy of God and hope in the loving-kindness of the Lord. I feel that many of our prayers go unanswered because we are not honest with God. However David felt, that what he expressed to the Master. This is one of the keys to being a man after God’s own heart.”



13:1 To the chief Musician, A Psalm of David. How long wilt thou forget me, O LORD? for ever? how long wilt thou hide thy face from me? (David felt like the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob had forsaken him. At times if we are honest, we feel the same way.)
2 How long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart daily? how long shall mine enemy be exalted over me? (David was going through extreme emotional distress. Chronic illness can cause this kind of emotional trauma in ones life.)
3 Consider and hear me, O LORD my God: lighten mine eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death; (David is not afraid to let the Lord know how distraught he is, and at the same time he makes his supplications known to God. I believe God honors an honest confession more than a positive one.)
4 Lest mine enemy say, I have prevailed against him; and those that trouble me rejoice when I am moved.
5 But I have trusted in thy mercy; my heart shall rejoice in thy salvation. (David was able to trust in the Lord’s mercy because he had a relationship with Him. David although discouraged was able to rebound because of his love for the Lord)
5 I will sing unto the LORD, because he hath dealt bountifully with me. (One of the keys to getting through a stressful season is to give God praise through it all)

This Psalm has helped me get through my most painful moments because it reminds me that God has and will continue to deliver me. We must trust in God’s sovereignty as well as His power. Trusting in His ability to know what is best for us takes more faith than running around “naming and claiming” everything. I was at a revival and someone asked me, “Have I claimed my healing yet?” I was really disturbed at this question; I realized that this person really did not know the Lord or me very well. If they knew me they would know I love the Lord with all my heart and whether I am healed or not I still love Him. If they really knew me they would know that I believe in the healing power of God but I also trust in His timetable and sovereignty. Don’t be discouraged saints of God; the Lord is on your case. The grace of God can keep us through all of our trials and tribulations no matter how severe they might be.

Joel Osteen...True of False?

As Bible Believers, we can disagree on certain doctrinal issues, but never the redemptive work and person of the Lord Jesus Christ. God forbid! God help us to never cease from exposing serious doctrinal errors, and make no mistake about it – several of Joel Osteen’s statements on Larry King Live were serious. Very serious. . .

The first very alarming portrait of Osteen’s heart (Matthew 12:34) deals with the most important subject in the Bible—salvation is only through the redemptive blood of the Lord Jesus Christ at Calvary. Nothing is more important. Nothing is more evident in the scriptures. The following scriptures (among many) loudly and boldly proclaim Jesus Christ as the ONE and ONLY way of salvation, without any room for misinterpretation or misunderstanding. The Bible makes this crystal-clear. Other doctrines may have opportunity for argument, but not this one.

John 14:6
Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.

Acts 4:12
Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved.

John 3:36
He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life: and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him.

1 Timothy 2:5-6
For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus;
Who gave himself a ransom for all, to be testified in due time.

On Larry King Live, the following very disturbing conversation occurred with Larry King and Joel Osteen:

KING: What if you're Jewish or Muslim, you don't accept Christ at all?

OSTEEN: You know, I'm very careful about saying who would and wouldn't go to heaven. I don't know ...

At this point, even Larry King appears surprised by Osteen’s answer. Then Larry tosses Osteen a "soft-ball" to explain his previous answer. And again Osteen openly denies that Jesus Christ is the ONLY way of salvation.

KING: If you believe you have to believe in Christ? They're wrong, aren't they?

OSTEEN: Well, I don't know if I believe they're wrong. I believe here's what the Bible teaches and from the Christian faith this is what I believe. But I just think that only God will judge a person's heart. I spent a lot of time in India with my father. I don't know all about their religion. But I know they love God. And I don't know. I've seen their sincerity. So I don't know. I know for me, and what the Bible teaches, I want to have a relationship with Jesus.

Again Osteen denies the redemptive work of the Lord Jesus Christ. Notice, he praises the pagan, false-religion of India as "I know they love God." Unbelievable. . .

I’m sure some reading this are thinking, "Well, maybe Larry caught Joel Osteen flat footed. Maybe Osteen wasn’t prepared." If Osteen only had been given another chance to testify of the redemptive work of the Lord Jesus Christ, he’d get it straightened out.

Osteen did get another chance. . .

After Larry King opened the phone lines, a concerned Christian asks Joel to clarify his previous statement (which we just viewed). Again Osteen could easily clear this up.

CALLER: Hello, Larry. You're the best, and thank you, Joe -- Joel -- for your positive messages and your book. I'm wondering, though, why you side-stepped Larry's earlier question about how we get to heaven? The Bible clearly tells us that Jesus is the way, the truth and the light and the only way to the father is through him. That's not really a message of condemnation but of truth.

OSTEEN: Yes, I would agree with her. I believe that. . .

KING: So then a Jew is not going to heaven?

OSTEEN: No. Here's my thing, Larry, is I can't judge somebody's heart. You know? Only God can look at somebody's heart, and so -- I don't know. To me, it's not my business to say, you know, this one is or this one isn't. I just say, here's what the Bible teaches and I'm going to put my faith in Christ. And I just I think it's wrong when you go around saying, you're saying you're not going, you're not going, you're not going, because it's not exactly my way. I'm just...

KING: But you believe your way.

OSTEEN: I believe my way. I believe my way with all my heart.

KING: But for someone who doesn't share it is wrong, isn't he?

OSTEEN: Well, yes. Well, I don't know if I look at it like that. I would present my way, but I'm just going to let God be the judge of that. I don't know. I don't know.

KING: So you make no judgment on anyone?

OSTEEN: No. But I...

And here Larry really tosses Joel a soft-ball. How about a God-defying atheist? And again, Osteen will not confess that Jesus Christ is the ONLY way of salvation.

KING: What about atheists?

OSTEEN: You know what, I'm going to let someone -- I'm going to let God be the judge of who goes to heaven and hell. I just -- again, I present the truth, and I say it every week. You know, I believe it's a relationship with Jesus. But you know what? I'm not going to go around telling everybody else if they don't want to believe that that's going to be their choice. God's got to look at your own heart. God's got to look at your heart, and only God knows that.

Friend, the Bible is clear. There is one, and only one way out of an eternal hell and that is the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ. Not simply "a relationship with Jesus Christ." Judas Iscariot had a "relationship" with Jesus Christ, walking and talking with the Lord, and even "kissing" the Lord (Luke 22:47), but Judas went to hell (Acts 1:25). Revelation 2:15 reads, "And from Jesus Christ, who is the faithful witness, and the first begotten of the dead, and the prince of the kings of the earth. Unto him that loved us, and washed us from our sins in his own blood,"

What can wash away my sins – NOTHING BUT THE BLOOD OF JESUS!

The teaching professed by Osteen that ". . . God’s got to look at your heart. . ." for salvation is wrong. It is grossly wrong. It is deadly wrong. God has already "looked at you heart." In Jeremiah 17:9, the Lord says, "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?" Proverbs 28:26, says, "He that trusteth in his own heart is a fool. . ." The Lord Jesus says, in Matthew 15 "But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man. For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies:"

Osteen’s refusal to confess the sole redemptive salvation of the Lord Jesus Christ sent shock waves among many of Osteen’s followers. Because of the amount of email and letters questioning his statements, Osteen issued an apology on his web site, stating:

Dear Friend,

Many of you have called, written or e-mailed regarding my recent appearance on Larry King Live. I appreciate your comments and value your words of correction and encouragement.

It was never my desire or intention to leave any doubt as to what I believe and Whom I serve. I believe with all my heart that it is only through Christ that we have hope in eternal life. I regret and sincerely apologize that I was unclear on the very thing in which I have dedicated my life.

Jesus declared in John 14; I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father but by me. I believe that Jesus Christ alone is the only way to salvation. However, it wasn’t until I had the opportunity to review the transcript of the interview that I realize I had not clearly stated that having a personal relationship with Jesus is the only way to heaven. It’s about the individual’s choice to follow Him.

God has given me a platform to present the Gospel to a very diverse audience. In my desire not to alienate the people that Jesus came to save, I did not clearly communicate the convictions that I hold so precious.

I will use this as a learning experience and believe that God will ultimately use it for my good and His glory. I am comforted by the fact that He sees my heart and knows my intentions. I am so thankful that I have friends, like you, who are willing to share their concerns with me.

Thank you again to those who have written. I hope that you accept my deepest apology and see it in your heart to extend to me grace and forgiveness.

As always, I covet your prayers and I am believing for God’s best in your life,

(http://www.joelosteen.com/site/PageServer?pagename=LarryKingLetter)


I find it ironic and demeaning that Osteen "was unclear on the very thing in which I have dedicated my life." He was not UNCLEAR. He was crystal clear. He consistently and clearly rejected that the Lord Jesus Christ was the ONLY way of salvation! We're not talking about a "babe in Christ." We are talking about the pastor of the largest church in the nation! Here he is as an ambassador for the Lord Jesus on a very popular television show and refuses to acknowledge the very thing he supposedly has "dedicated his life"? Something's seriously wrong with this picture. . .

Osteen’s glossing, or apologizing for his serious statements, does not negate his repeatedly refusal to confess that Jesus Christ is the only way of salvation. If his answers were not so clear, nor given several chances to clarify, his apology might be appropriate. But the heart and soul of the Christian faith is the sole redemptive blood of the Lord Jesus. Without that, there exists no Christian faith. For a preacher to repeatedly refuse to confess that Jesus Christ as the only way of salvation is without excuse, nor apology. 1 Peter 3:15 admonishes the Christian: "But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:"

Many other statements from Osteen during the Larry King interview were blatantly in opposition to the Word of God.

KING: But you're not fire and brimstone, right? You're not pound the decks and hell and damnation?

OSTEEN: No. That's not me. It's never been me. I've always been an encourager at heart. And when I took over from my father he came from the Southern Baptist background and back 40, 50 years ago there was a lot more of that. But, you know, I just -- I don't believe in that. I don't believe -- maybe it was for a time. But I don't have it in my heart to condemn people. I'm there to encourage them. I see myself more as a coach, as a motivator to help them experience the life God has for us.

Friend, the greatest "fire and brimstone" preacher that ever lived was the Lord Jesus! He preached about hell more than any other subject. If you don’t believe in proclaiming "fire and brimstone, as Osteen openly confesses, you do not believe the Bible! It’s that simple.

Jesus Christ took hell very serious. In Mark 9:43-47 the Lord says,


43 And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched:
45 And if thy foot offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter halt into life, than having two feet to be cast into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched:
47 And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out: it is better for thee to enter into the kingdom of God with one eye, than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire:


Jesus Christ took hell so serious — He could say without the slightest hesitation — to remove your eye, cut off your hand or foot, if that would keep you out of hell!